Before I sign-out tonight.....

As the battery threatens flatness, I am apparently impelled to scribe something about my own desires.

What or who brings me to this I dunno.

Plagued by occultists for refusing to play ball, of being Merlin, or any fabricated magi akin to the rumours created about Jesus of 2000 years ago, I feel bound to defy all calls and pressures to enact my occult powers.

I've explained this endlessly it seems on this weblog, and given good, even profound reasons why, so I don't wanna go over it again.

But, in my imposed exile, I do know how lonely some “other” part of my being, an higher consciousness, or another Omaxa I may have never known, is.

My thoughts, if mine, go frequently to the couple of women I've been close to, at least in heart, over the last Jeeez, “how long my Lightshow?” mmm..., only 15 or 16 years, seems like a couple of decades at least......., NO! IT IS.... 24 or 25 years!

But I force myself to think of other things, to stop my desires, but also because thought travels, and may go where it's not enjoyed.... know what I mean?

Lately I was aided by old friends, or their friends, who guided me in the 4th dimension to exposing the arsehole David Edney “the big 2-inch (penis)”, whose been an utterly evil piece of shit by playing witch with my Soul for about FORTY years, and who, along with my agenda-ridden mum, has caused all sorts of shit to happen in me, in my relationships with mates and especially with women and girlfriends, and in their lives as well.

Since this revelation for myself, I've been even more lacking in self-esteem, and have drunk more vodka, or alcohol than ever, trying to forget life, as it has not been..., nightly.

Last night I drank at least one bottle of vodka.

Phew!?

How much life is left in my kidneys and liver I know not, especially as I now refuse to do any serious exercise, due mainly to all this psychic shit, aided and abetted by the dog coppers of Vic and NSW of the last two decades, but I stopped, or gave up exercising and muscle-building a few years ago, after my maggot mother came zooming up to Nimbin and fucked me over seriously with her evil occult, and had me slammed in the Lismore psyche ward for a month.

Since then I've had every negative energy invading my soul, and have been induced to “get fat and lazy” both out of a deep sense of futility, but also from a cold feeling of rebellion against every one else's demands and expectations of myself.

Before mum had me slammed, I was the fittest I'd been for decades, and was getting more muscle on me bones than I'd ever had. But OH NO! The fucking catholic women didn't want me to be THAT fit, because I might also become self-confident and break free of their evil occultist grip!

So since then, I cannot invigorate myself back into physical exercise, even though now, after realising how much Edney has fucked me, and the other maggots, I am probably closer to being the True fella I would so want to be!

In regard to mum's evil actions those couple of years ago, I was totally innocent of any errant behaviour.

Now I know better of myself, and now know that it has pretty much always been these sick types playing with my soul.

As well as Edney, there has been most all the people I'd met in the old industry I helped build and led in Melbourne in the 1980s - motorcycle couriers - ex-workmates etc.

No-one can expect me to forgive these oooow, you know what want to call them, but as I'm now such an influence, I'll refrain on the weblog.

They can all rot in Hell for an eternity, as far as I'm concerned. Fuck 'em!

But, as they've all so willingly destroyed my own life, my own social abilities, thus any social life - mum and her evil catholic nuns are the major culprits here of course (short of including Rome, Dunrobin and Oxford), but these envious pieces of dirt are guilty as sin also - and have all also brought death and carnage to so much of Melbourne, Australia, northern NSW, and farther afield, that I am now so deeply affected by everything that's occurred, and the aftermaths, I do not believe I can lift myself up and out of this bottomless pit of - loneliness and isolation.

Nevertheless, all I wanted to say here, before I sign off, is....

Darlin' Oh Darlin'!

I just wanna have you beside me forever! I feel it's not gonna happen in this life, but I'll be there for ya in the next, I promise!

Just you and me, on our own, traveling the Universe side-by-side.

I know this is asking wrong things from you, and I don't actually want this from you because it is selfish of me, and you have a life and would want to, have to, do other things.

But I sat on my upturned ex-esky today and thought about you, as I looked over at my rotten old bed board, and dreamed of you, totally at peace with yourself, and with me, and with the world around us, not doing anything but lying on my bed, taking it reeeal eazee.

Drinking, eating, getting lazy, fat, silly sexy, whatever. Watching vids, tele, listening to or playing music, writing, investigating (my penchant, so naturally I'd ideate that you would dig doing the same kind of thing wiff your bwain!), getting angry at the world, at the fascists, at the arseholes et al. But being HAPPY, deep deep deep in your Soul, and happy that we were travellin' 'round the country, living rough on-the-road in mah 4be4, visiting True Fella Aborigine People everywhere, taking their Love and Wisdom and humour with us, and shootin' the authorities with and for it, and travelling around the planet doing the same.

Takin' it Easy as we go, visiting the True Fellas of China, of Russia, of Iran, of all the Wise and Honorable Dudes in foreign governments, in Biker Clubs, in Indigenous Nations, and partying with them all, in that Pure and True Spirit of the Endless Family.

Yumm the Dream, aye?

Can't see it actually happening though, no matter what is lifted from my soul. And besides, that's likely not what you'd prefer. As I said, you already have a life, so I wouldn't dare actually ask you to go my way.

My “weird” and unsocial way.

Far too far out, aye?

As a bloke once joked about me “a million miles away!”

Sorry “True Storey”..., just felt impelled to scribe this and post it to the internet ether.

Sleep Beautifully, Goddess..........

And, PLEASE.., be Happy?

Aum......