Am I in a coma?
This is the question I formed this morning.
In mind, I reviewed as much as I could, of my life, for about 1/2 an hour. Still in the bunk on back of my ute, despondent, feeling damned horrible.
What of..., when...., for what “Cosmic” purpose, have I had to endure what may be 25 years of this “dream state”, of suffering exile, deceit, endless insult from one and all, homelessness, rah rah rah?
Did I fall into a coma in 1987, when I drank alcohol and smoked dope to excess then crashed my motorcycle on Lakeside Drive or whichever that road on the western side of Albert Park Lake is called, just south of Melbourne, hitting a no standing sign, and a large tree. It seems, as nothing now can be taken as any reality, I woke in the Alfred Hospital, Prahran, with several injuries to legs, torso, arms and head, not to mention my psychology.
Did I in fact die, to wake in my next life, or in this dream???
Since then, oh too much to even start, but there've been movies on TV I've seen about this same kind of thing.
One I recall, I think one of those cable TV “Amazing Stories” by Spielberg, told of a bloke who was, in a dream he was in, on another planet to the one he was in a coma on, and dreamed this whole life of some 80 or 90 hard and often painful years, only to wake up back on his real planet, with warm and safe, trustworthy family and friends, and an whole and full life to resume. One, I think, where he was a man of substance, a noble or such.
Is this me?
Sex, endorphins, serotonin, and lots of positivity, is how to get out of this undoubted delusion.
Dropping every hesitation, dropping every “retention”, every memory of failed sexual relationships, every bad experience, every negative feeling of how controlled by others therefore useless and deceived, thus damaged my psyche is, dropping every expectation, as I learned in the School of Philosophy, if that was before I fell into this coma, about “coming into the present”.
Naturally, my evermore seemingly pathetic mind starts it's qvestion-mill, and asks me if I am still some 33 or 34 years old, etc.
Thus, is the kid I “gave” the Kiwi woman, still a babe, etc?
Rah rah rah and WHAAAAH?!@#$%^???
For the last 6 or 7 years, at this apparent body being now 57 years old, I have been really pissed off that I realised so late what mum and her catholic cult has been doing to me, trying to fabricate a false returned Jesus, and that I've missed the best years and opportunities of that life I think I had, before becoming aware of her whole series of deceits - we're Gunai Aborigine, I'm a bastard child to an Irishman, Dad, my Step Dad, is part, in name at least, of the Welsh clan “Meredith”, in older Welsh, “Maredudd”, the same family of the 16th century Catholic English kings Henry 6,7, and 8, with lines according to an ancestry website, dating and traceable back to the ancient Welsh King Arthur, that mum, behind my back, claims we're descended from the hyper-wealthy Scottish Sutherland clan, who hide the secret of secrets that they're the direct descendants of the first Jesus of Nazareth, thus we are too. The list of secreted shite goes on and on.
Why write these qvestions?
As usual, angry feelings of defiance rise inside me.
Are they part of someone elses' manipulative game, to keep me under?
The crime gangs, Catholic paedophile priests, Hell's Angels, global military paedophile rings who hold the Brit-Eurapean super-wealthy elitist cult underneath the western-world's ruling establishment, which I'm supposed to be built and thus owned by, in that heinous scam to build a false Jesus returned messiah bullshit, to ransom, in any opportunistic turds blackmail deal to be allowed to keep on committing their preferred crimes?
Then, apparently, but not to my blinded eyes, there's “aliens” here to stomp humanity, and who I'm supposed to be the one to overpower?
If all that I think or dreamed I've experienced over this 25 year sleep, coma, dream, is but an unreal illusion, which, I believe everything is, are there in fact, aliens?
Can't say from here. But I do know there's a shitload of “other stuff” happening out of my perceptions I know nothing about, so anything, as it seems is the case, is possible.
Witchcraft. Magic. Delusion. Deceit. Destruction.
Hardly stuff to build any certainty or hopes on.
Whatever. It's hard to do the “forgive” thing, when it cannot be ignored that my life has been the sole manipulation of specious, retarded, deluded, hypnotised and hypnotising megalomaniacs.
And since the secret got out, which it seems, to any who were witches back when I was born, they would have seen the truth behind the lies mum and her convent nuns and priests contrived, so the secret has been known and used for innumerable other people's, and cults' advantage my whole unholy life.
That's if any of this, has been real.
Leaves me, without much desire for life, this side or the other, without inspiration, without hope that any future existence I could possibly find for myself, will be worth it.
Unless, I guess....., I'm still only 33 or so years old?
Dreams, it's said by the experts, occur in but milliseconds. So one dream which in the dream state can feel like it's going on for hours, days, even years, can all be played out in the mind in just seconds. Or perhaps hours, days, weeks. So if I am in a coma, this shithole dream could be some length, perhaps even the last “realtime” 25 years, since the accident I wrote of above?
But HELLO!?@#$%^??? I've been knocked unconscious more times than I could count since childhood. So any one of those events could have been when I was knocked into this coma? This might fit better with things like the memories I have of times before that motorbike accident in 1987 or so, as well as with the fact that I cannot recall much of my youth or childhood, and some things I do recall, I cannot put an age to, nor any timeline, any chronological order.
But methinks it's not quite that.
Methinks I'm 57, and if I open my 3rd eye, things will be seen through, more deeply, or something.
But one thing I do feel strongly about, is that whatever the reality surrounding my shithole life, the innumerable “actors” who've entered my little mental world, and who've played, or been told to play with my psyche, with my beliefs, and other parts of myself, are not regarded as my friends now, as I expect they will not be regarded if I ever do wake up out of this delusion. Someone else's delusion methinks, in which I may be just some very interesting, fascinating player, but definitely one fucking angry puppet.
So, that the whomever it is who has majority control of my thoughts, actions and things I observe cannot be seen as any other than a crazy psycho, and as this little plan that is me has gone so off the rails of all their expectations and self-assured delusions, especially that one which they've tried to build a false Jesus to fool humanity with, it follows that they, thus far I deduce someone or number high up in the evil Theosophical Society, may well decide to keep me locked in this shithole dream state til I die, in order to not be the target of my anger and revenge, which it seems, is possessed of more than enough power to wreck the whole planet.
But on the other side, who knows if they, whether aliens, or humans, have the same or similar perceptions and have drawn the same or similar conclusions as I, that this human epoch has gone beyond sanity, and is now totally out of control, and cannot be redeemed, therefore, has to be shutdown?
Thus, are they, from an higher plane, Gods or such? Are they, and maybe..., HA! Maybe myself also, actually superior beings to this evolved human species, who work in communion with other extraterrestrials and see these things as I have put them recently, and also have agreed that we are insane and dangerous, so must be terminated?
Maaaaybe...? Maaaaybe NOT!?
I don't try to draw any conclusions about these postulations, and defer to the belief that I am but one hard-done-by human being, who has been so severely damaged by and “alienated” from all human society that I have with that, perhaps “evolved” into some different type of being, who now looks at the dominant human paradigm, culture, cult and sub-species – the whitearse westerners – as seriously demented, fucked and dangerous, therefore in need of a dramatic correction, to the point, if we follow the “one bad apple, spoils the whole barrel” adage and inference, indicating that once the devil gets into the culture, it can only be killed by killing the whole lot of them, us, it.
Of a certainty, my saying that “out of every ten people....”, referring to white Australians in the main, “....nine are evil”, the darkness, which I say is merely western religious ignorance, the dominant cult, thus culture, has taken the vast majority of whites down to such a beggared unintelligent and immoral level as to leave the gods no option but to exterminate the lot of us.
So. Mote. It. Be!
The world's major powers are listening and are taking heed, and do actually do the necessary things to bring primarily THE LAW back to being Straight and True?
Cameron. Merkel. QE2. Obama. Hollande. Netanyahooooo????
And all the rest of the elitist fuckers.
Time waits for no egomaniac, lads and lasses!
Neither does True, Universal Law.
All Praise the Immortals!
All Praise the Warriors who have fallen
Fighting for a Just World!
from the Traveling 4x4 Tent of
Omaxa bin Eartha
aka Max Earth